Everyone asks. They’re all worried that they’re writing too much, or not enough. (Nobody seems to worry that they’re writing exactly the right amount and that someone will be confused or annoyed.) So what’s the answer? How long should a blog post or book or chapter or any written work be? Here’s an analogy which [...]
Really? Honesty can be brutal? It is my experience that those who endorse brutal honesty are hoping we’ll all become just as rude as they are, so they don’t stand out so much. After all, why should they have to learn manners just to fit in with all of us, what, gently honest people? Nonsense. [...]
Intent is a powerful tool. In the ‘trust tree’ it’s the trunk—the only portion that’s partly invisible, partly visible. Our intent begins inside, then becomes evident to others.
Words mean what they mean, and somewhere in our unconscious, we believe what we’re really saying, not what we think we’re saying.
When a question begs the obvious and expected answer, we’re not really asking a question; we’re making a disguised statement or request or demand. Wording the demand as a question, with the lilting raised voice at the end and a smile on our face, does not transmogrify it into an innocent act.
Words do a poor job of hiding our true intentions. Whether it’s disdain or love, what you feel or believe about your listener will leak into your communication. No; really. It will.
We all make assumptions. In Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Dr. Robert Cialdini points out their value in a complex society. He also points out many of the dangers of assumption. I find myself assigning greater value to books that have more words in them, to CDs that have more music on them. To longer [...]
Books are not ideas. Words are not the things they label.
One challenge in writing fiction is getting the dialog to sound right. You can’t just transcribe a real conversation; reading what was really said, we can’t believe any rational person talks like this: “Look at those clouds.” “Dark.” “Rain?” “Huh. Dunno. What’s the weather say?” “Huh. Dunno.” “Dark clouds. Huh. Rain.” It reads like two [...]
anger arguing argument assumption assumptions background books brevity challenges communication embarrassment expectations family fear generosity giving honesty indignation intent intentions joel d canfield Karen Lynn last word lie logic lying manners no passion perception perceptions process psychology punctuation quote reading reality semicolon simplicity sources stress trolls truth writing yes
