Comments on: The Passive Lie http://www.notwhatimeant.com/2010/07/01/the-passive-lie/ Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:22:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: caitlyn http://www.notwhatimeant.com/2010/07/01/the-passive-lie/comment-page-1/#comment-573 caitlyn Sat, 24 Jul 2010 05:05:55 +0000 http://www.notwhatimeant.com/?p=274#comment-573 I have resisted putting flaming chainsaws on my website. I have refrained from asking how you know this is a bad idea ... but maybe, I thought, maybe the story would just "float" to the surface ... before I give you the password to my wi-fi connection ... before you have the key to the shed where I keep the chainsaw. I have resisted putting flaming chainsaws on my website. I have refrained from asking how you know this is a bad idea … but maybe, I thought, maybe the story would just “float” to the surface … before I give you the password to my wi-fi connection … before you have the key to the shed where I keep the chainsaw.

]]> By: Joel D Canfield http://www.notwhatimeant.com/2010/07/01/the-passive-lie/comment-page-1/#comment-515 Joel D Canfield Fri, 02 Jul 2010 20:37:36 +0000 http://www.notwhatimeant.com/?p=274#comment-515 I sorta figure if I create a situation, in my mind, that is ridiculously in the other person's favor, and I meet all those unreasonable expectations I've set for myself, and there's still a feeling of unease, well, at that point, I acknowledge and accept my psychosis and move on. Do not install literal flaming chainsaws on your website; bad idea. Do not ask me how I know this. I sorta figure if I create a situation, in my mind, that is ridiculously in the other person’s favor, and I meet all those unreasonable expectations I’ve set for myself, and there’s still a feeling of unease, well, at that point, I acknowledge and accept my psychosis and move on.

Do not install literal flaming chainsaws on your website; bad idea. Do not ask me how I know this.

]]> By: caitlyn http://www.notwhatimeant.com/2010/07/01/the-passive-lie/comment-page-1/#comment-514 caitlyn Fri, 02 Jul 2010 19:56:13 +0000 http://www.notwhatimeant.com/?p=274#comment-514 All sounds good - communicate, be scrupulously honest, make sure perceptions align, but really, don't you sometimes just feel like spicing things up and jumping through some flaming chainsaws? Gotta add some flaming chainsaws to my website. Will go and decide if that is literally or metaphorically. ;-) All sounds good – communicate, be scrupulously honest, make sure perceptions align, but really, don’t you sometimes just feel like spicing things up and jumping through some flaming chainsaws?

Gotta add some flaming chainsaws to my website. Will go and decide if that is literally or metaphorically. ;-)

]]> By: Joel D Canfield http://www.notwhatimeant.com/2010/07/01/the-passive-lie/comment-page-1/#comment-503 Joel D Canfield Thu, 01 Jul 2010 14:16:15 +0000 http://www.notwhatimeant.com/?p=274#comment-503 Lara, agree absolutely that intent and communication are vital to keeping my perception of myself balanced. I know I do a good job with those things. Perhaps sometimes I'm still unconsciously blaming myself for someone else's failure to deliver. Need to shine a light on those instances and see if feel guilty because I share responsibility, or if I don't, and shouldn't. Lara, agree absolutely that intent and communication are vital to keeping my perception of myself balanced. I know I do a good job with those things.

Perhaps sometimes I’m still unconsciously blaming myself for someone else’s failure to deliver. Need to shine a light on those instances and see if feel guilty because I share responsibility, or if I don’t, and shouldn’t.

]]> By: Lara http://www.notwhatimeant.com/2010/07/01/the-passive-lie/comment-page-1/#comment-502 Lara Thu, 01 Jul 2010 14:06:57 +0000 http://www.notwhatimeant.com/?p=274#comment-502 Inshallah- Lord willing- things I hear over & over from certain people who are simply aware that the world rests not on our own shoulders and timing is not always our own. Communication is not the same as making excuses. I have a special order right now- my supplier is changing ownership- as soon as I know there is a problem, I contact my client and offer her options- substitute, cancel the order for a refund of the deposit or wait. I give as much information as I have & am honest about the uncertainties. That's different from saying "sorry this is 2 months late, what happened was..." Back to the golden rule again- how would you want this to be treated? Has your client given you enough information that you know how they would want this dealt with? Most people I have dealt with rather like being treated as rational human beings. If you honestly believe you have done your best both in delivery of service, problem solving and in *communication*, you have nothing to be ashamed of & at the end of the day, how you feel about your integrity is what really counts. Inshallah- Lord willing- things I hear over & over from certain people who are simply aware that the world rests not on our own shoulders and timing is not always our own.

Communication is not the same as making excuses. I have a special order right now- my supplier is changing ownership- as soon as I know there is a problem, I contact my client and offer her options- substitute, cancel the order for a refund of the deposit or wait. I give as much information as I have & am honest about the uncertainties. That’s different from saying “sorry this is 2 months late, what happened was…” Back to the golden rule again- how would you want this to be treated? Has your client given you enough information that you know how they would want this dealt with? Most people I have dealt with rather like being treated as rational human beings. If you honestly believe you have done your best both in delivery of service, problem solving and in *communication*, you have nothing to be ashamed of & at the end of the day, how you feel about your integrity is what really counts.

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