Over the years I’ve annoyed more than one person with my fussiness about using the right word to say what we mean. If someone understands what we meant, why should it matter?

I contend that it matters because words mean what they mean, and somewhere in our unconscious, we believe what we’re really saying, not what we think we’re saying.

Right now at one of my stops in the blogosphere there’s a huge conversation about gender bias in business. More than one person has referred to ‘equal’ treatment for men and women. I think equal treatment is a bad idea. Fair treatment, equitable treatment, sure. Those are great. Treat folks as they deserve to be treated.

Maybe that’s what people think they mean, but that’s not what ‘equal’ means.

If I have two hungry children, one a teenager and one a toddler, equal treatment means I serve them the same portions of the same foods. The same. That’s what ‘equal’ means.

Equitable treatment means the toddler gets the right amount of the right kinds of foods for a toddler, and the teen gets the right amount of the right kinds of foods for a teen. But not the same amount, not an equal amount. Equal means you’re starving the teen or glutting the toddler.

Virtually every person has access to a dictionary. If you have access to the internet, you can check a dozen English-language dictionaries simultaneously, and find a hundred examples of word use in literature. If you’re the teensiest bit unsure of a word’s exact meaning or use, find out.

After all, if you’re going to use words, why not use them expertly?